Dear Scabby, I’m quite pretty girl as I know and I get enough attention from men, though I think I could be getting more if I wasn’t that shy. But being 20 years old I’m still a virgin. And now it turned into a problem, because I’m starting to feel really embarrassed about it. After spending some time with a man, I just give up all the relationships because every normal man soon or late wants more and I’m just feeling really uncomfortable and stupid to say I’m still a virgin. So here’s the question: do you think it’s actually normal not to have sex in age 20? Should I wait for the right moment and a good man or should I just go out, get drunk and fuck with the first pretty comer? What actually a normal man would think of me? |

Dear Scabby, I'm quite pretty girl as I know and I get enough attention from men, though I think I could be getting more if I wasn't that shy. But being 20 years old I'm still a virgin. And now it turned into a problem, because I'm starting to feel really embarrassed about it. After spending some time with a man, I just give up all the relationships because every normal man soon or late wants more and I'm just feeling really uncomfortable and stupid to say I'm still a virgin. So here's the question: do you think it's actually normal not to have sex in age 20? Should I wait for the right moment and a good man or should I just go out, get drunk and fuck with the first pretty comer? What actually a normal man would think of me?

Asked by Anonymous

Honestly, I think the whole concept of ”normal” is a crock. As far as waiting for the ”right moment with the right man,” I don’t think that’s such a bad idea. I mean, what the hell? If you’ve already waited this long might as well make it good.

Just be careful you don’t wait forever. Maybe you just need to adjust your expectations about what ”the right man” means for you. It doesn’t have to be Prince Charming or anything, ya know. And I don’t think it necessarily has to be True Love or anything like that either. I think there’s a good deal of misconception in this society about sex and love. Love takes thousands of expressions, such as friendship, respect, charity, complicity, communication and brotherhood, among other things we experience in our daily lives. Sex is another thing entirely. Sometimes they go together, sometimes they don’t. It doesn’t really matter.

Maybe ”the right man” for you might just be somebody you feel a sexual attraction for and get along with well enough to trust him and let him in on your ”secret” and pop you cherry with.

It really doesn’t have to be a big deal, does it? I mean you’re not getting married to the guy. Or maybe you are.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is maybe you need to lighten up a bit with the whole Sex/Love thing and just go for it. It’s only sex, a purely animal attraction, and something perfectly ”normal.”

What do you got to lose, other than your shame and confusion over your simple human nature.

By the way, where do ya live? Send me some pix. Maybe old Scabby could fit you into his busy cherry-popping schedule and knock the dust off it for ya sometime…