I have some anger issues. I've realized it's because of resentment I have for things that have been done to me in the past. I want to "just let it go" because I know holding on to this anger isn't hurting anyone except me but I feel like if I do just let it go, they've gotten away with it. Like if I let it go, I'm saying what they've done is alright. And it's not just stuff from the past, it can be small stuff, say if someone cuts me off in traffic, or anything...I can become so enraged. Being in a constant defensive state is poisoning. Do you have any advice for dealing with anger? And how not to let things affect you so badly?
The following is from Emmet Fox. Hope it is helpful to you.
“Setting others free means setting yourself free, because resentment is really a form of attachment. It is a Cosmic Truth that it takes two to make a prisoner; the prisoner — and a gaoler. There is no such thing as being a prisoner on one’s own account. Every prisoner must have a gaoler, and the gaoler is as much a prisoner as his charge. When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing you hate. The one person in the whole world whom you most dislike is the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc. Do you think that you can afford this? Of course no one can afford such a thing; and so the way is clear. You must cut all such ties, by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. And because the law of love works alike for one and all, you help to save his soul too, making it just so much easier for him to become what he ought to be.
“But how, in the name of all that is wise and good, is the magic act of forgiveness to be accomplished, when we have been so deeply injured that, though we have long wished with all our hearts that we could forgive, we have nevertheless found it impossible; when we have tried and tried to forgive, but have found the task beyond us?
“The technique of forgiveness is simple enough, and not very difficult to manage when you understand how. The only thing that is essential is WILLINGNESS to forgive. Provide you desire to forgive the offender, the greater part of the work is already done. People have always made such a bogey of forgiveness because they have been under the erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to compel yourself to like him. Happily this is not the case.”
