In my humble opinion, such matters rarely have much to do with the day and age one lives in, or one’s present circumstances. One does what one has to do because any other choice would be unacceptable to their soul. What more can I say? The only advice I can give you is this: try reading Kerouac’s On The Road and asking yourself if you got the balls to go out there and see what the world has to teach you. If the answer is affirmative, then get off your arse and go!

There is a screenplay based on my book Scab Vendor - Confessions of a Tattoo Artist. It was optioned years ago by a certain famous Hollywood production company, then put on the shelf. That’s why I prefer to write books today and leave the movie making to the Hollywood types.

Sorry about the late response to these comments and questions, but Scabby has been on a long sabbatical.

In response to your question (?) I would have to say that, in my experience, untreated abstinence from any addiction can lead an addict to a place where the ”cure” is often worse than the disease itself. That’s why the 12 step programs like AA and NA have proven to be so effective for treating the root causes of addictions. Simply put, for many years of abstinence, I was a bigger asshole sober than I ever was drunk, and I stayed that way for many years until I got into the 12 step recovery process. Once one stops taking the numbing agents to treat their addiction, there has to be a whole psychic change to accompany the process and lead the addict or alcoholic into a program of recovery, usually of a spiritual nature. If not, once the drugs or booze are gone, the sufferer becomes “restless, irritable and discontent” to quote the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous — which is a pretty rough way to live, not only for the addict, but for just about anybody unfortunate enough to have to come into contact with them. I’m just glad I found the 12 step programs, as it truly is the ”easier, softer way” to treat the disease of addiction. Good luck.

Sounds like you’ve already answered your own question and it’s working out for you that way, in which case what I think is really irrelevant. 

check out this link and good luck:

 http://www.sensitiveskinmagazine.com/

Honestly, I think the whole concept of ”normal” is a crock. As far as waiting for the ”right moment with the right man,” I don’t think that’s such a bad idea. I mean, what the hell? If you’ve already waited this long might as well make it good.

Just be careful you don’t wait forever. Maybe you just need to adjust your expectations about what ”the right man” means for you. It doesn’t have to be Prince Charming or anything, ya know. And I don’t think it necessarily has to be True Love or anything like that either. I think there’s a good deal of misconception in this society about sex and love. Love takes thousands of expressions, such as friendship, respect, charity, complicity, communication and brotherhood, among other things we experience in our daily lives. Sex is another thing entirely. Sometimes they go together, sometimes they don’t. It doesn’t really matter.

Maybe ”the right man” for you might just be somebody you feel a sexual attraction for and get along with well enough to trust him and let him in on your ”secret” and pop you cherry with.

It really doesn’t have to be a big deal, does it? I mean you’re not getting married to the guy. Or maybe you are.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is maybe you need to lighten up a bit with the whole Sex/Love thing and just go for it. It’s only sex, a purely animal attraction, and something perfectly ”normal.”

What do you got to lose, other than your shame and confusion over your simple human nature.

By the way, where do ya live? Send me some pix. Maybe old Scabby could fit you into his busy cherry-popping schedule and knock the dust off it for ya sometime…

The following is from Emmet Fox. Hope it is helpful to you.

“Setting others free means setting yourself free, because resentment is really a form of attachment. It is a Cosmic Truth that it takes two to make a prisoner; the prisoner — and a gaoler. There is no such thing as being a prisoner on one’s own account. Every prisoner must have a gaoler, and the gaoler is as much a prisoner as his charge. When you hold resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing you hate. The one person in the whole world whom you most dislike is the very one to whom you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel. Is this what you wish? Is this the condition in which you desire to go on living? Remember, you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc. Do you think that you can afford this? Of course no one can afford such a thing; and so the way is clear. You must cut all such ties, by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. And because the law of love works alike for one and all, you help to save his soul too, making it just so much easier for him to become what he ought to be.

“But how, in the name of all that is wise and good, is the magic act of forgiveness to be accomplished, when we have been so deeply injured that, though we have long wished with all our hearts that we could forgive, we have nevertheless found it impossible; when we have tried and tried to forgive, but have found the task beyond us?

“The technique of forgiveness is simple enough, and not very difficult to manage when you understand how. The only thing that is essential is WILLINGNESS to forgive. Provide you desire to forgive the offender, the greater part of the work is already done. People have always made such a bogey of forgiveness because they have been under the erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to compel yourself to like him. Happily this is not the case.”

Dear Just Once —

These are the things that go along with fame. Your mother bought the ticket, and now she has to take the ride. Does it bother her, or is it just making you uncomfortable? She probably loves it, I would assume, or at least accepts it graciously as something that comes with the territory. What you may not be taking into account is that for a writer who lives and works in a bubble most of the time, these little signs of validation from fans are not always seen as invasive - at least for some of us. Maybe you should ask your mother how she feels about it.

Still, if it’s that much of an issue for you and your siblings, why don’t you just invite her over to your place for a meal? Or maybe you could take her on a little ”field trip” to another part of town where you won’t be likely to run into blue haired ladies from a country club?

By the way, how famous is she? I mean, if she’s like Anne Rice or something, there really may be nowhere that’s ”safe.” If that’s the case, I’m sure she’s learned to live with it. Maybe you should too.

Good luck!

This situation sounds like a classic ‘trick-bag’ to me. My first instinct would be to advise you to just stay out of it. From what you’ve told me, it really might not be any of your business anyway. 

Family ties are a complex and confusing affair even for seasoned professional therapists. As you said yourself, you are paid to be a personal assistant and not a family therapist, let alone a watchdog or whistleblower.

If you’re not comfortable around your boss’s son and his lifestyle, you may just have to move on and seek other employment elsewhere. Otherwise, just lay low and do your job. I just can’t imagine anyone wanting to get involved in somebody else’s family issues at risk to themselves. 

Everything happens for a reason, and while it may appear offensive to you, there’s really very little you can do about the situation without putting yourself in a position of overstepping your bounds as a personal assistant. 

I can’t tell ya what to do, but if I was you, I’d probably just tend to my work and try to keep out of all and any personal family dramas altogether. 

Dear Kale from Facebook -

Tattoos hurt. That’s part of the deal. No pain, no gain. I actually did that tattoo on JD back when I was still in the tattoo game. That’s a particularly painful spot to get tattooed.  He didn’t flinch, of course. The man has balls of iron - like me.

Since I’ve been retired from tattooing for many years now, I can’t tell ya much about who’s good. No idea anymore. I’d suggest you do some research on the internet and check out who’s who in your area. Maybe go and check out some tattoo places and see who you ”vibe” with. The best advice I can give somebody who wants to pop their tattoo cherry is this: THINK BEFORE YOU INK.

Good luck.